Put On a Brave Face
by oilandmachinery
Summary: Dry those eyes, you beautiful boy. Fill your heart with promises and wishes and hopes for the future.


You're crying.

You're crying, and I want to tell you _it's okay, it's okay, _because it hurts to see you like this, it really does. Did you know that? So put on a brave face for me, won't you? Put on a hero face. There we go. Let me see those blue, blue eyes. It's okay, because you're here. You silly boy, do you even realize you're holding me? Do you even notice those tears? You probably hate me now, for tricking you, but really, Roxas, what else was I supposed to do? Don't hate me. Put on a brave face. Tell me it's going to be okay and I'll tell you the same. We can tell each other lies to make ourselves feel better.

It's not fair, I know, it's frustrating and horrible and unfair, but it's not like there was anything we could have _done. _

I'm not a good person, I hope you know that, and neither is Axel. It would be silly of us, do you hear me, very silly for either of us to hope for a happy ending. Do you understand? You can't be sad or angry when I leave, even though I _know _you have a heart. You have to put on a brave face for me, for him, for yourself.

One night, I dreamt that we were all somewhere bright and sunny. Not twilight, not dusk, not some lukewarm in-between light. You know what I mean, right? It was _bright._ It was blue sky and sun on our faces and wind in our hair and sand in our toes. And you were smiling! Isn't that the strangest thing? You don't really smile that often. It's a nice look for you, more than nice, actually. Ask anyone. Ask Axel.

Oh, Roxas, you're not mad at him too, are you? Really, don't be like that... It's just the way he is. It's our roles to play, do you understand that? Him and I, we're not heroes. We're selfish. So you have to forgive him, okay? Put on a brave face. Be _strong_ and…and _mature_, because lord knows Axel and I aren't either of those things.

I have something to ask of you.

You two, when I am gone, remember me, okay? Don't forget about me. You'll be sorry when you guys are off having fun without me and suddenly—boo! I'll…I'll show up out of nowhere and tickle you to death. Then Axel and I will have to attend your funeral and laugh at you and it'll be a very sad affair.

So don't forget.

_Who are you going to eat ice cream with?_ Why would you ask that? Gosh, you're hopeless. I don't know! Anyone anywhere would eat ice cream with you, you beautiful boy. You silly, beautiful boy. Get better friends, okay? Better friends than him, better friends than me. Nice people, maybe even heroes like you.

I'm done dreaming, Roxas. There's nothing you can do, do you understand me? It's funny, knowing that _I_ saved _you_. Maybe I'm not a hero, but I died pretending to be one. I tricked you, I know, and for that I am so, so sorry, but it _saved you. _Anything is worth that.

Before I go, here is my one wish, and I want you to hold it your heart forever until it comes true:

I want to come back here, yes, the place where I'm dying in your arms. The clock tower, you know the place, I'm sure, we've been there once or twice, maybe. Okay? Our feet will dangle from the edge, the sun won't ever set, and we won't have to go back home.

Axel will make you laugh, and I will eat my ice cream.

Does that sound okay?

Put on a brave face, now, and remember me.

Fill your heart with promises and wishes and hopes for the future. We're your friends, Roxas, do you understand that? We'll die for you, the hero, because you have worlds to save and light to spread. I'm dying for you now, and I don't think Axel would want to die for any other cause. We'll always be with you.

We made fun of Axel relentlessly for saying this because _ha_, what a sappy thing to say, especially coming from him, but one last thing:

"_Just because we're separated doesn't mean we have to be apart." _

Me and Axel and you, Roxas, will eat ice cream together someday.

Believe in that. Hold it in your heart.

I have to go now, but don't be sad. Dry those eyes and let me see you smile, one last time. You beautiful boy.

Remember me, okay?

Don't forget.

_but he has already forgotten _


End file.
